Dating Venezuelan Women
I took the glass to my lips and sipped the rum. It was OK but not quite satisfying enough after indulging on Diplomatico Exclusivo for 3 months.
“You know Seth, I brought a great bottle back with me from Venezuela”.
I’m talking about Venezuela again, its all I’ve talked about since arriving home months earlier.
“If you love Venezuela so much Aiden then why didn’t you marry one?!” – Seth playfully asks me.
I responded candidly. “Well Venezuelana’s are great for sex but I’m not sure I’d ever want to marry one. I mean they can be a bit erratic. No, if I was ever going to get married then it would be to somebody more dependable like a German.” (note – this is a joke which needs to be read in context. I had to clarify that after a particularly vitriolic and sustained spam-attack from a hard of humor reader – in all seriounss, I would never marry a German).
Playful jokes on national stereotypes aside, there is a lot of truth in the notion that Venezuelan’s are passionate people and I found this out for myself during 3 chaotic and unforgettable months last year. Maybe you too are headed to Venezuela and hoping that cupids bow may strike you and it may well do, for Venzuelana’s are physically stunning, warm and very hospitable. However before you go searching for your happy ever after, there are some things that every guy should know before dating Venezuelan women;
Your not in Holland so don’t try go Dutch
Personally, I’m a huge advocate of women’s rights because the flip side is women’s responsibilities meaning they have to pick up their share of the tab! Over in Venezuela though, they never got that memo and the guy is very much expected to pay the girls way. If you talk a girl in a club you have to buy her a drink, if you take her out for a meal then you are paying for the food and if you go to a motel together (see 4) yep, you are paying the entire room bill.
Another quirk of dating Venezuelan women is that sometimes a girl may even bring her friends along and you will also be expected to pay for them. Personally I draw the line at this and whether its a cultural normal or not, I insisted that any 3rd parties paid their own way; if you don’t then dating in Venezuela may prove very expensive.
Not everything is real
Whilst Venezuelans are very beautiful, they are not adverse to getting some extra help and enhancements from the surgeons knife. Silicone breasts and bottoms are very common and in any given nightclub you may well struggle to move for protruding parts.
Whilst Venezuelan surgeons don’t seem to offer the “natural look”, your amore may still vehemently deny your suggestion that she has sought some help however apparent it may be. The key to dating Venezuelan women here is to indulge them.
Contraception is not widely used
Venezuela is, at least nominally, a Roman Catholic country and the legacy of this is that contraception is not widely practiced even amongst lapsed Catholics and committed atheists. The consequences are obviously high amounts of STD’s and a hell of a lot of unplanned pregnancy. Abortion is also unpopular and difficult to obtain so the result is a high volume of teenage Mothers; it is not unusual to find 18 year old girls with children already starting school.
If you are dating a Venezuelan be safe, be sensible and take matters into your own hands. Condoms are widely available in the country and with your foreign currency they are ridiculously cheap. If you do get carried away, then you may want to ask the girl to use the morning after pill. It can be sourced from most pharmacies but doesn’t come for free in Venezuela so as per, 1, you are paying for it but its going to be cheaper in the long run than a child. Therefore, when dating in Venezuela my advice is to always take precautions.
They live with their parents
Because of this nominal Catholicism, pre-marital couples co-habiting are still widely viewed as living in sin. Most people live with their parents until marriage (and often even after marriage for a while) which can make getting up close and personal kind of difficult. The solution to this problem is the phenomenon of the hourly, love motel. Love motels are a staple of Latin cities and towns all the way down from Mexico to Argentina and have been providing space, privacy and the aforementioned teenage pregnancies for countless generations of Latin lovers now.
Don’t be embarrassed when entering one of these institutions because in Latin culture, there is nothing sleazy about it; its an everyday norm born of sheer pragmatism. You rent them by the hour (unfortunately they don’t do them by the minute guys…) and they offer 24 hour receptions. The prices are usually reasonable although you can expect to be charged more if you bring extra people along.
Promiscuity is very common
Adultery and infidelity were off the scale in Venezuela and pretty much everybody I knew was semi-openly carrying-on behind their partners back. There are many reasons for this and the main one is that people still tend to marry too young and brides with swollen bellies at shotgun weddings are commonplace. Other reasons are anybodies guess, it may be because be sexuality is so very prominent in Venezuelan culture or it may be that Venezuelans are just so damn hot that they find it hard to resist one another.
They get jealous
This is a weird one. Despite the aforementioned promiscuity, Venezuelan’s are nevertheless possessive as hell. Within a short space of time you can expect your date to be checking your phone, accusing you of being unfaithful and generally busting your balls. I did however find this to be equally common amongst Colombians and Brazilians.
If you are caught parking your truck in your neighbours yard then God help you…
Braces are fashionable
If you ever had braces as a kid, the chances are that you hated them, was teased at school and couldn’t wait to get them out. Indeed, we see them as a necessary evil and a childhood rite of passage that some of us just have to go through. In Venezuela though, not only are they commonplace amongst adults but they are even seen as been desirable and fashionable.Adults will leave braces in after they have ceased to need them or even wear ones that will offer no dental benefit. I was at a complete loss to work out why this is and can only guess that its a status symbol suggesting wealth; i.e. “I can afford dental care!”. If you plan on dating Venezuelan women then you may need to learn to love a bit of steel.
They will steal your heart!
Venezuela has a very high crime rate and there are scores of armed banditos out there wanting to help themselves to your cash and gadgets so do take care. Thankfully this puts cowardly travellers off visiting meaning there is more of Venezuela for us! However, for me the only thing of value that Venezuela stole from me was my heart. Dating Venezuelan women will expose you to new levels of sweetness, warmth and physical ecstasy leaving a lasting impression and setting a standard that will be hard to replicate anywhere else in the world.